I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
