Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
MIDGETS
????
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
