I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We got so high we made milksteak
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
