Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
