like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
