i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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