do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
