He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
