smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
