i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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