This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
