oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
