what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
