You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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