My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
