Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
