It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
