I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
