i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
