im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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