this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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