Small penises have feelings too.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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