Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
