xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
