yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
