Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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