He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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