I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
