I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
