Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
