Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
