It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
