I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so let's talk penis.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
