But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
