Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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