why didn't you poke me back
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
