1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and she was petting her beer can
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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