Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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