yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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