Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Blood and glitter go together right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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