I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
