butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
