Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So squirting runs in the family.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
