They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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