He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Randomize
