Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
