isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
