I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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