Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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