so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
