i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
