He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
