i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
