her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
