Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
